I’m so proud of myself…

Happy March!  Here’s this month’s editor’s note asking when was the last time you acknowledge being proud of yourself? Here’s to being vulnerable and sharing one of mine. Enjoy! 

With Love,

Transcript:

Okay, going to try this beach side. So, hopefully the sounds aren’t too distracting.

Hello friends! 

It is officially March and with only a few weeks away from spring can I just tell you how joyful I feel. There’s nothing like sunnier days and warmer weather for me. It just hits differently. 

At the beginning of this year, one of things I vowed was to acknowledge the moments in my life that I chose myself and most importantly, forcefully if needed, out loud say… 

“I’m so damn proud of you!”

Because can we take a moment and ask ourselves how often we actually do this? How often do we celebrate ourselves? 

I turned 41 back in January and if I’m being honest, for every triumph I’ve accomplished, big or small, it has been commonly followed by a dissection of what I could have done differently or worse off, what I could have done better. 

Just acknowledging this fact makes me a bit upset at myself, but grace, right?

So, in the spirit of staying true to my word I’m going to share one thing that I am so damn proud of and then I’m tapping you in. 

Okay, wait…

Before I continue, can I also say that in the spirit of vulnerability – I’m nervous and scared. Not because I think you’ll judge me but because it’s still a work in progress in acknowledging that I’m proud of myself without any ifs, ands, or buts. 

Ok, 2020. Oh, the pandemic. That year and even the years that followed had me in the biggest rut I’ve ever experienced. I was lost in a cycle of unhealthy habits and amongst those was over eating. In full transparency, I’m the girl that when I’m down and out, food is the only thing that makes me feel better. Not good, but it is honest. I gained a whopping 64 pounds and I have never felt less like myself. And with the weight gain, well you can imagine the narrative inside my head. Also, I’ve never been the girl that likes to work out. For some reason, the gym is my arch nemesis.

But, something shifted. I had a deep realization that I needed to take better care of myself. That I wanted to be healthy. Strong. Especially as I get older. It wasn’t for the killer body or the summer bikini, it became something so much bigger than that. So, I made a choice: no more excuses, no more putting my health on the back burner. As cliche as this may sound because at another point in my life I probably would have thought the same, I reframed my mind to think of exercise as simply moving my body. Perhaps a walk one day. Perhaps a run the next. The amount of time didn’t matter. The type of movement didn’t matter. All that mattered was that I committed to doing it. And like any forming habit, day after day it just got easier and then food just came with the package. Because as much as I seek comfort in food, I also love to eat healthy. This had never been a problem until I just ate shitty all the time and couldn’t find myself yearning for something better. 

And now, as I record this. I’m down 54 pounds, on a beautiful vacation with my husband and crazy to think, excited at the thought that I brought work out clothes and have been moving my body everyday since I’ve been here. It doesn’t even feel real. Like I actually enjoy it.  Day by day, I feel stronger, more energized, more alive. I now frame it as a reminder of my own resilience.

So, here’s to tapping you in. 

To have you, today, not tomorrow or the next, acknowledge how you’ve been prioritizing yourself and out loud say, “I’m so damn proud of me.” And also, if you can’t find yourself choosing you then that’s okay too. Let this serve as a little reminder that a simple seed planted in our brains can make all the difference.  And in the meantime, I’ll say it for you, because no matter where you are right now, I can categorically say without a doubt, that I’m so damn proud of you. 

Thank you for listening and we’ll chat next month.